I’m sure everybody remembers facts on Chuck Norris, and here are Linus Torvalds facts!

Look at the picture, do you see any differences, don’t you? :) ;) :)

Chuck Norris vs. Linus Torvalds

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.

Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t die, he simply returns zero.

Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.

Linus can divide by zero.

Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t receive error messages.

There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.

Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.

Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat.

Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.

Linus made the red pill.

Linus Torvalds didn’t learn from the University of Helsinki, the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.

Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to boot.

Linus is real, unless declared Integer.

Linus doesn’t push the flush toilet button. He simply says “make clean”.

Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.

Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.

Linus Torvalds sleeps with nunchucks.

Linus can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.

There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.

Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds… in his head.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.

Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to mount his drives.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t debug. His programs are always perfect.

Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.

Linus Torvalds doesn’t need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.

Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a diversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.

Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.

Linus Torvalds didn’t design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.

People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.

Linus need not worry about Microsoft patent crap, he simply do `sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null`.

Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.

If you could read Linus Torvald’s mind, you’d find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.

Linus scared A and B away, so they had to make C.

Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard ’1′ and ’0′

Linus’s kernel never panics.

Linus does not use the GCC, he _writes_ binaries.

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  1. October 28, 2007  9:53 am by Ultrin Valuk Reply

    That's so awesome!

  2. October 28, 2007  10:19 am by artiomix Reply

    Thanks for your comment, Ultrin Valuk!

  3. October 28, 2007  3:11 pm by Beni Pegu Reply

    Damn!! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. THAT was funny!

  4. October 28, 2007  4:24 pm by FooBar Reply

    It was indeed entertaining. But I do believe that it's supposed to be spelled "diversion" instead of "deversion".

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  6. October 28, 2007  6:37 pm by bigfatpig Reply

    that was f'ing awsome,

  7. October 28, 2007  8:41 pm by Ano Nymyous Reply

    If not because of "People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds." I would have blogged about this.

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  12. October 30, 2007  5:54 pm by Lone Rocker Reply

    If Linus is more powerful than root, why does he need to do sudo?

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  14. October 31, 2007  11:21 am by Pento Reply

    It's very...very good! :)

  15. October 31, 2007  1:48 pm by Someone Reply

    Some more -

    Linus's kernel never panics.

    Linus can dereference NULL.

    Linus does not use the GCC, he _writes_ binaries.

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  17. October 31, 2007  6:55 pm by artiomix Reply

    Hi All,

    Thank you for commenting!

    Lone Rocker, actually Linus can just think about `mv /tmp/ms /dev/null` and it will be done :)

    FooBar, typo is fixed from now!

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  19. Pingback : ariel weblog » Linux Torvalfs Facts… tipo Chuck Norris.

  20. November 1, 2007  6:40 pm by R@100 Reply

    brilliant, I can't stop laughing...

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  22. November 2, 2007  8:44 am by Kris Reply

    Terrible. While I am a Linux enthusiast, Norris > Torvalds.

    Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.
    Chuck Norris told the universe to fix itself, and it did.

    Linus can divide by zero.
    Chuck Norris' beard alone can divide by zero.

    Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.
    Chuck Norris doesn't need error messages.

    Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat.
    Chuck Norris has the entire web stored in his brain.

    Linus doesn't push the flush toilet button. He simply says "make clean".
    Chuck Norris glances at the toilet quickly, it is so scared it needs to flush.

    Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.
    The universe depends on Chuck Norris

    Linus Torvalds sleeps with nunchucks.
    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep.

    Linus does not use the GCC, he _writes_ binaries.
    Chuck Norris scares the binary in to writing itself.

    The rest were just too lame to write comebacks to, I laughed not a single time while writing this.

  23. November 2, 2007  9:12 am by artiomix Reply

    Hi Kris,

    I'm exhausted by hard laughing... You're star! Thanks

    What you think about this:
    Linus Torvalds can run `kill -9` and kill Chuck Norris.

    Not sure that Norris > Torvalds, at least Norris ~ Torvalds ;)

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